Healing
by TheCookieMonster77
Summary: After Kakashi killed Rin, he felt like he could shatter at any moment. It's up to Minato to heal him.


**Disclaimer: I do not and never will own Naruto.**

I thought of this story while listening to "Castle of Glass" by Linkin Park (it's actually a really good song and it isn't screamo or whatever the genre's called). Anyway, on with my second attempt at writing.

* * *

Kakashi's remaining eye widened when he realized what happened. He felt Rin's blood drip down his arm and face.

"Ka-Kakashi" Rin choked out before falling to the ground.

Kakashi collapsed as he felt a burning sensation in Obito's eye. "I'm sorry Obito…I couldn't protect her."

"I'm sorry I failed," Kakashi thought as he blacked out.

* * *

'Am I dead' Kakashi thought as he groggily sat up. 'I thought death would hurt a lot less. Oh well, guess I deserve it.'

"Kakashi! Thank god you're alright. What happened? Are you feeling alright?"

'Guess I'm not dead, Sensei's too strong to die.' Kakashi blinked up at his sensei. "What happened?"

Minato collapsed into a chair next to Kakashi's hospital bed and sighed. "We were hoping you would be able to tell us that. When we found you, you were surrounded by dead Mist Nin and pools of blood. When we saw that Rin had a hole in her chest we were worried that you were also dead. Thank god you aren't dead, but Kakashi, how the hell did you manage to kill all of them? And how did Rin die?"

Kakashi just sat there with a look of shock on his face. "Minato-sensei, I-I didn't kill any of them…we were overwhelmed and I-I" Kakashi gulped. "I killed Rin," Kakashi admitted quietly. "They wanted her. They wanted her alive. I figured that since neither of us were going to make it out, then we shouldn't give them what they want. After I killed her, I passed out from exhaustion and the pain I felt in Obito's sharingan."

"What?" Minato looked dumbfounded. 'I have to bury another student. A sad day indeed. At least Kakashi's alright-or at least physically' Minato thought as he looked over at his remaining student. "Kakashi, it's not your fault," Minato murmured softly.

"Yes it is! I failed Rin! I failed you! I failed Obito! Rin's dead because of me!" Kakashi choked as he looked away from Minato, tears streaming down his face. "It's all my fault…"

"No, Kakashi, stop that. You're alive. The enemy nin are dead," Minato stated firmly.

Kakashi refused to look at Minato. He knew it was his fault Rin was dead. 'I mean, I was the one to drive my hand through her chest,' Kakashi thought bitterly.

Minato simply sat there, hoping Kakashi would snap out of it before he did anything stupid. After sitting there for an hour, waiting for Kakashi to say something, Minato realized he was late for a rather important meeting. "Kakashi, I have to go now. Don't you dare do anything stupid while I'm gone."

Kakashi sat there, listening to his sensei's receding footsteps. He started rubbing his itching hand; feeling like the nurses didn't do a good enough job at cleaning off Rin's blood. Kakashi spotted a bathroom and rushed to it, feeling as though the itching was getting worse and worse. Even with the water running over his hand, he could still feel Rin's blood on it, stinging like it was poison. Kakashi started scrubbing harder and harder, trying to wash off the imaginary blood stains. Even when the water became pink with his blood, Kakashi still scrubbed harder, as the itchy feeling had yet to go away.

"Hey Kakashi, you doing okay in there?" Minato asked as he poked his head through the door. "Kakashi! What do you think you're doing?"

"Sensei, it won't come off," Kakashi pleaded. "Her blood won't come off…"

"Kakashi, you're scratching your shin off! Stop!" Minato yelled.

"But Sensei…it isn't coming off…" Kakashi said, sounding desperate.

The next thing Kakashi knew, his world was black.

* * *

Kakashi didn't do anything besides looking at his ceiling or listening to Minato-sensei when the man came to visit for the next couple of weeks. He was supposed to be getting therapy, but after kicking the idiots out and numerous of failed attempts at escaping the hospital, he compromised with Sensei. As long as he stayed in the hospital until Sensei allowed him to leave, he wouldn't have to deal with the idiots that thought that they could understand what he was going through. Needless to say, both walked away with scowls on their faces.

Kakashi sighed as looked at his bandaged hands. Minato-sensei wouldn't let him take the stupid bandages off, even though his hand itched like crazy. Even though he bit them off a couple of times, Minato-sensei threatened him with those damn idiot therapists the next time he ripped the stupid things off.

Kakashi perked up as he felt Sensei's chakra signature enter the hospital, before slumping over again. Although he knew Sensei must hate him for killing his other teammate the man wouldn't admit it. He was secretly happy that Minato-sensei didn't tell him that he was mad that he killed Rin, even though he knew it was a lie. Kakashi didn't think that he would be able to handle the truth. He already felt like cracked glass; he knew the minute that Sensei told him the truth, he would shatter.

"Hey Kakashi, feel any better?" Minato asked with a gentle smile as he walked into Kakashi's room.

Kakashi refused to look at him, just as he had yet to look at his sensei since he nearly bled to death. No matter how happy Minato-sensei's presence made him feel (the man was like sunshine to him after all), Kakashi was too scared to see the rejection in his sensei's face that would shatter him.

"Kakashi, I wish you would talk-or at least look at me," Minato said gently as he sat down next to Kakashi.

Kakashi remained silent. He couldn't stop staring at his hand, feeling the guilt all over again.

Minato sighed. "Kakashi, it's not your fault. I am sad that I have to bury another student but it's inevitable during war and the mess that follows it. I'm just glad that you're still alive so I don't have to bury a second body."

"It's my fault that you have to bury a second student at all." Kakashi screamed, finally snapping. "I killed her, but I didn't think on it too much at the time 'cause I thought I was gonna die. Hell, I was going to kill myself and destroy Obito's eye as well so they didn't get me or his eye before I blacked out. But I lived, even though I killed a comrade, much less one I had sworn to protect. I'm worse than scum and I don't deserve to live…"

Kakashi looked away, trying to stop his tears when he felt a hard smack on the back of his head.

"Baka! You did what you thought was best and I'm damn happy you survived. It's worse when you act all depressed 'cause then I have to sit and watch, feeling like I really had lost my two remaining students," Minato yelled before walking out and slamming the door behind him.

Kakashi sat there and stared at the door until night had fallen, thinking over his sensei's words.

* * *

The next morning, Kakashi went looking for his sensei. Although he knew Minato-sensei would probably whack him on the head again for leaving the hospital-and probably force some idiot therapist on him as well- Kakashi needed to hear the truth. He needed to hear truth, because no matter how much the truth would hurt him, no matter how many pieces he would break into, the lie he'd been fooling himself with was slowly killing him.

"Kakashi…what did I say about escaping-I mean leaving the hospital?" Minato growled.

Kakashi gulped before turning around to face his sensei. "I wanted to know the truth-no, I needed to hear the truth from you."

'Huh?' Minato thought. Voicing the question out loud, Minato asked, "What truth?"

"I know you hate me, I just need to hear it from you so I stop deluding myself."

"What?!" Minato exclaimed. Then it hit him. The idiot actually thought he would hate him. 'Baka.'

Kakashi had closed his eyes, not sure if he could truly face the rejection. He was shocked when he felt Minato pull him into a hug. 'Wha?'

"Baka. I don't hate you. No matter how stupid you act I can't hate you. You're one of my precious people."

Kakashi felt himself slump in his sensei's arms, not caring how as a shinobi he was supposed to mask his feelings. He was just so damned relieved that Sensei didn't hate him.

Minato smiled before he pulled away. "Feeling better?" Minato asked, relieved when Kakashi gave a nod. "Hey, I was coming to show you something to cheer you up."

Kakashi perked up at this. He was so relieved that Minato-sensei didn't hate him that he could probably jump up and down even if he had to babysit a bunch of brats.

He was quite confused when Sensei showed him a picture of…something. He was a little miffed when Sensei burst out laughing at his expression. It wasn't his fault he didn't recognize the, the-well whatever the hell it was.

"Kushina's pregnant," Minato said when he smiled down on the picture of the newly revealed fetus-erm baby, Kakashi mentally corrected. "I'm going to be a dad."

Kakashi smiled when he saw the gentle smile on his sensei's face. He personally didn't see what was so great about the little brats but since that was what his sensei wanted, he would smile for his sensei.

Minato laughed at the grimace that had formed on Kakashi's face. "Don't worry Kakashi, the little guy will grow on you eventually."

Kakashi snorted. "Yeah right. I don't get why you even like the little mon-" Kakashi stopped when he remembered his earlier resolve. "I mean, of course sensei. I'm sure I will," Kakashi said, not quite getting the grimace to form into a smile.

Minato simply roared in laughter. "Trust me you will. I already know I'm going to spoil the kid rotten. I'm going to go fuss over Kushina now; I'll see you around Kakashi."

Kakashi smiled at his sensei's back. He'd never be able to fully get rid of his guilt but maybe he'd be able to live with it. Maybe he'd start to heal. Kakashi then realized that his hand had stopped itching. He smiled up into the sunshine. Things were already looking better. Besides, Minato-sensei had forgotten to throw him back into the blasted hospital-he might as well enjoy his limited freedom while it lasted.

Not sure if I'm actually happy with this story, I'll probably come back and fix it. I'd appreciate it if you'd review cause that would really help :D


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